تمام راه برگشت بارون بود که باد می کوبوندش به شیشه . شب همه از خستگی بیهوش بودیم و فکر نکنم کاشان هیچ سالی به خودش انقدر بارون ذیذه بود که اون چند روز دید . تا درو ظهر باز کردم یه جور عجیبی همه جا ساکت بود . خاله با یه ساک مشکی وسط هال واستاده بود . من گیج فکر کردم باید خوشحال باشم . مامان کشیدم کنار و آروم گفت ما باید بریم ... . من باز احمق خوشحال گفتم ... . گفت : نریمان فوت شده ... . جا نخوردم , شاید اون موقع هم با این که هیچی نمی ذونستم اما منتظرش بودم ... . فقط به مامان قول دادم که باشم ... از همیشه ... . گلنار خواب بود , مامان رفت , گلنار با جیغ از خواب پرید . پرده هارو کشیدم محکم کنار , همه جا عادی بود .اون لحظه و اون موقع و تمام لحظه ها و روز ها و ماه های بعدش همیشه به این فکر کردم که را برای من همه چیز عادی بود . نریمان مرده بود ... اما ... برای من نریمان مگه قبلا زنده هم بود ؟ ... برای بار 2 ام همه شکستن و سیاه پوشیدن ... اشکان ... و ... حالا ... نریمان ... . شاید وقتی پرده هارو می کشیدم میخواستم داد زده باشم که ... که ... ای مردم ... نریمان مرده که ما زنده باشیم ... می حواستم بگم اون میره که به ما بگه بمونیم ... اما ... هیچ کس نشنید ... مرگ نریمان بی رنگ تر از سیاهی لباس سیاه خاله بود , ... زمان می گذره و ... تو هم تو گذر لحظه ها ورق می خوری ... الان 4 سال گدشته ... اما ... اونجا تاریخ داره تکرار میشه... من هنوزم منتظرم ... منتظر نفر بعد ... منتظر تا اونم با حماقتاش ... . اره ... من نمی خوام اما می بینم تمام اونایی رو که اونا داشتن و از داشته هاشون به نداری کشیده شدن ... باور کن سخته ... باور کن منتظر بودن سخته ... همیشه مرز بین جسارت و حماقت باریکه ... اما ... هیچ وقت معلوم نیس کدوم حماقت کدوم جسارت ... امروز هم اومد ... نریمان به یادت بودم ... اما ... آدمایی که دارن زندگی رو از یاد می برن چی کار کنم ؟ ... امسال هم مامان شب تو دفتر خاطراتش می نویسه نریمان پرپرم در کنار اشکان آرام بخواب ... اما ... مامان من خوابم ... من ... تو ... همه ما ... هرچند فردا هم خورشید طلوع میکنه ...
vaghti moadelato be jaye 4 ta soal yehoo 14 ta soal midan to 110 min , vaghti ke fekr mikoni 3 ta soale avvalo bayad hal koni faghat o 4 ta ye ppaeenesh hala hamjoorie chon baromesh kheily paene , vaghti khodeto sare ye antegrale 1 metri 1saato 15 allaf mikoni , vaghti ke mikhay bargato bedi mibini poshte safat 7 ta soaaaallll e dige hast ke to aslan nadidi , vaghti ke on mofghast ke miragheb mige behet 10 min bishtar vaght nadari , vaghti ke mibini az 3 taye avval hich kodomo be javab naresidi , vaghti ke mibini on 4 taye paeno 2 tasho nesfe javab dadi o tamame 7 taye baghiye eyne chi khali ..... on vaght nabayad be khdoet begi ke miyofti ? badesh enghadr halet bad beshe ke hatta part kardane khodet az har 13 tabagheye nassaji ham dardi ro dava nemikone ... on moghast ke hatta roye asfalt zire aftab neshastan ham daghet nemitone bokone... on moghast ke mikhay biyay inja tamame fooshe alamo adamo bedi amma yehoo mibni ke systemeto logoff kardan ... on moghast ke faghat bayad biya n jamet konan o rat bendazan .... on moghast ke mikhay dar eyne inke mabhoote in hame khoshie adamaye dooreti ke az fogohlade dadane emtehaneshon harf mizanan to fekr koni ke akhe mage mishe be in fezahat injoori beshe .... va hala mn inja neshastam o hanozo mabhoote gandiam ke zadam , 4 ta pshte sare ham emtehan daram amma yeki baddtar az digari ... msihe zendegi behem ye pause kochik bede? nafahmidam chetoori momkene vaghti mippari to challeye ab be jaye baghal dastiyat 3 ta dige 4 metr jeloo tar khish besah nonam az soorat ta paeen , va to kheily sade bazam bavaret nashe ke mikhan khafat konan va bavareshon nashe ke mikhay az divar beri bala o az balatarin shakheye derakht tooot bekanni ba tamame cheshm ghorrehaye adamae dooret ... amma nemidonam chera ........ bikhial ............ man gand zadam baz ....... amma man ke nemikhastam... are ... farda... felan khastam ... amma farda behesh fekr mikonam ...
Hichvaght nafahmidam ke chera vaghti halam bade ta nakhabam ya ye chize torsho shor nakhoram dorost nemisham...emsal sare saltahvil forsat nashod shayadam shod amma yadam raft ke bara khodam hadeaghal doa konam... aftabe zohro doost nadaram to otagham chon faghatm ishe bahash khabid , gipsy king gozashtamo ta tah behesh basso tremble dadam ,kheily kerekht o sikh khodamo vel dadam ro takht bade inke sheddate takaneye badanam ba navasan kardan ro doshak gerefte shod shoro kardam poshto ro hamechizo didan , hamontori damar shoro kardam bacheshme baz baghiyeye otaghe bala saramo tasavvor konam ... amma yehoo ghel khordam be kheily vaght pish... nemidonam shayad chon az avval nabeghe boood manam say mikardam to bachegihaye bi neshane az harhooshi moghalldesh basham , fekr konam avvalin bar on bood kebehm goft bozorgtarin arezoosh ine ke hava faza bekhoone... shayad on moghe nafahmidam ta inke bazam chand sal bad sar az fizik daravord o man ba ye labkhande piroozmandane e mozi nakhodagah on hesse khakestar shodeye bachegiyam behem goft hala ke on natonest pas to havafaza mikhoooni ... harchand ke bazam on moghe halim naboood ke chera ... bazam chand sal badesh yehoo sar az ye khiyalbafiye kodakane dar eyne inke dige behemon kodak nemigoftan to ye zohre dagh vasate hayate madrese bade inke naharkhorde bodimo ro asfalt deraz keshide bodim onja yehoo bazam karam keshid be hamon ja o ye team jam kardim azbacheha ek harki chi kare she, on moghe ham hamash shokhi bood amma.... amma alan dige na! Cheghadr zood ye shokhi o ye vasvaseye hesadatgone shod jedditarin bakhshe zendegim... gozashtamesh ro repeat ....yehoo safeye zehnam avaz shod ... hamechiz abi bood ba yemosht haloojene zardo abi o sefid ke chon avvalin bareshon bood roshan mishodan roshan shodan... bazam hamin gispsykinge amma in bar to amfiteatere dept. .... in dafe dobare garmame ... chon to classe sabamo on dare az che midonam mabahese khabavare fizik 1 harfmizane dareyne inke to zire aftab neshastio khomare kafoore selfi... amma nemidonam chera ta mige khate nabashid yehoo tabdil msihim be gorohe ashraro class mire ro hava ! shayad chon kafoor niaz be katalizore fizik dare ke faalesh kone ... yade alice miyoftam ... vaghti oftad to on sorakh hesse moaallaghe soghoto kamelan bahash dark mikardam shayad tanha ghesmati az dastanesh bood ke khosham miyomad o hamishe az inke bayad har eydo har tabestoon be jaye didane khanoome marpel beshinam ino negah konam assi mishodam amma 2 gozine bishtar zohra nadashtam ya karagah X ya alice o chon karagahe X tamame hesse konjkave policie shariramo be bazi migereft o tahghir mikard tarjih midadam sangin beshinam ba cheshaye baste avvalo akhare alico negah konam... e.... zebr bood ... baba... man nemidonam chera hich vaght nemikhad maniye bastaro befahme ... dare baste yani vorod mamnoo' .cheshme baste yani mozahemat mamnoo' .... yani mikhay donyaye hodeto dashte bashi o bekhay begi tavaghofe bija mane kasb ast ... amma ... yadam bashe az in be bad dare otaghamo nabandam ta kesivared nashe o kesi nakhad ba boosidanam behem bege ke hey U vaghte khab nist o mohtaramane bege baz ke pashoo.... fekr konam on rast migoft ... behtare donayahamono barak hodemon negah darim chon ghati kardaneshon hamishe riskesh bishtar az to nadani o nadonestaneshon e .... are ... age panjereye cheshato bebandi kesi nemitone behe t bege ke chera to maghzet hichi nist chon dare ba khodesh mibafe ke man ye chizi daram ke barak hodam negahesh dashtam .... bazam nafahmidam ke chera hamash .... yadam be on shabe tavallode dokhtar e dokhtar ammeye mamane ye ki azdoostam oftad ke manam bar revalehamsihe hzore faal dashtam , yeki z doostash migoft ba jaryane ab bash ta behet began mahi .... on migoft hatta onja ham nabayad bar khalafe jaryan shena kard , maskharast man hamishe ro jahate jaryan moshkel dashtam delam nemikhast jaryanam ba jaryane pareshaye ye ghorbagheye rooye ab ham yeki beshe ....hala baz farghe mahiye roodkhoney o barvareshi chie? .... mohem ine ke age ton beshi dige hcikas nemifahme male koja boodi! Taze onjoori shoretam mikonan ke ... . dige yadam naymad ke akharin jayi ke az to zehnam part shodam behesh koja bood amma diroooz bara tanavoo hakstam ba yeki pasoor bazi konam behem goft arzeshe shenidano yad gereftan nadare , shakh shodam , goft age tonesti sadetarin masalamo hal koni mishnavam harfato , amma vaghti goft didam nafahmidam chi gofte o yadam oftad ke hamishe az ehtemalat motenaffer bodam o kheily haghirane goftam ke nemidonam javabeto , ba'd bachehe faghat behem negah kard manam hamonjooi negam kard ke ab sham .... amma be ta omadam azash beprosam ke khob to vaghti hanooz nemitoni 4 ta jomele addi harf bezani vaghti alan 4 saate o andie inja neshasti hooshe noboghvaret be che dard khorde ... bad be in natije residam keadamaye bihoosh hadeaghal khiyaleshon (moon) rahate , chon az bihooshi motevajjehe hameghatamon nistim amma on yekia daeman zajrkoshe kochikihaye bashargonashon mitonan beshan ... amma che fayede ... alan be in natje residam ke mikham hameye darsayein termo bioftam .... dige cheberese be conseptual design khondane bacheha to eyd! ...
شوق جوانه رفت ز یاد درخت پیر
ای باد نوبهار ز عهد کهن بگو
سایه
Salam … lol … hora man belakhare farsi typ kardam didam arezooo be
Che ghadr hamechiz zood avaz mishe kheily zoodtar az inike bekhaym befahmim darim avaz mishim … saniyeha tondo tond migzaran amma yehoo mibinim ke ona kheily kondtar az ma harekat mikonan… ta ghabl shayd hamin ye saniye pish shayadam ye sal pish shayadam ye vaghti ke nemidonam key booode fekr mikardam ke inke migan adama to lahze sakhte mishan to lahze bozorg mishan to lahze ye adame jadid mishan faghat male filmo ghessast chon ke bayad to n safe ketab neveshte beshe ya to n min filme sakhte beshe … amma alan na mibinam ke na vvaghean in harfa male hamin zendegiye sadeye mamollie khodam bood… kheily chiza avaz shodan to man kheily chiza omadano raftan ta man kheily chizaye digaro peyda konam … bebinam ke na! intoriam nist ke man mididam … ensan faghat dar lahze tarif mishe hamash to ye lahze … bad ke on lahze gozasht to on adame ghab;li nisti age ham bashi yani ke aslan zende nisti pas yani bazam ensas nisti o ye mordei … gthablana fekr mikardam ke age kheily chizaro to daroonam beheshon motaghedam amma bironam to adamaye doram peyda nemikonam bayad be adama komak konam ta onaro to khodeshon peyda konan hatta age khodeshon ham nakhan bayad bayad bayad… in kalameye bayad boodke hamishe baes mishod tamame energy o vaght o zendegim behesh hadar bere bayad tamame vojodamo sarfe in mikardam ke on adam ye lahze yadesh biofte mitone ADAM beshe amma in vasat man bara lahzehaye badim dige naboodam amma alan na dige elzami nemibinam ke bekham be hamekas hameye chizaye khobe ensaniyato esbat konam … mibinam ke mohemtari nchiz dige khodamam dige manam ke bayad zendegi konam o age man boodam digaran dar ertebat ba man mitonan age khoeshon bekhan sakhte beshan … tajrobeye jalebi boood az ye maghtae margavar be ye hesse parvaze fogohlade beresi … bad boodna ot ajroobe koni… o hazaman ke bad mishi bebbini gozare hamechizo az safehaye zendegit amma nazari naghshi ezafe bezanan be safahati ke to bayad nnevisandeye motlagheshon bashi na kase digei …are… MAN NA KASE DIGAR… shayad ta ghabl az didane ye cartoone rangi kheily hal mikardam amma alan bishtar az didane khodam ke shibihe on cartoone rangi hastam kheily bishtar lezzat mibaram chon mibnima to har saniyeye I n zendegi kkolli shakhsiyate jadid hastan ke khalgh shodano kolli ta dige hastan ek chon tavanai ifae dorost ye naghshe amooozande nadaran hazf mishan shayadam hamin hazf hsodane in vasat kollita amoozande bashe … nemidonam … midonam ke be har hal hamishe hamechiz behtarine o be behtarin masire khodesh dare edame mide … har tajrobei hamcheghadr ham talkh sakht bazam behtarine baraye ma ta behtarin mani basham dar lahzeye badiye on zendegi…
Khob chert ziyad goftam… amma goftam ta onai ro ke mi kham begam harchand kalameham bazam gom shodan amma gofte basham … farda hamechiz ye chizedigast …behtarin hastin o behtari nkhahin bood… behtarin lahzehatoon male khodetono o bahash sarshar shin az hessse sadeye torshe shadi be hamon torshiye alochehaye doregardaye khiyaboon … be hamon torshi be hamon ghermezi … boodanetono mobarak J
bedoone
vojoode
mahdoodiyat tavallodo margi
vojood
nakhahad dasht
har anche motevalled shavad
mimirad
va anche hargez motevalled nashode
nemitavanad bemirad
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hamin
shirin
emshab yade tabestoon oftadam
hamechiz booye tabestono midad
khatereham mazzeye albaloo ba namak midadan .ch.ch.ch way ...
arezoo ocinama
shirino hamberger
negaro telefonesh zohre tavallodam parsal
parando harfaye on shabesh to zist khavare 3 sal pish
zahra o adamse relaxesh vasate davaye to koppeye ghatare esfehan
niloofaro techno zadanash ro takhtaye on zohre esfehan
sara o piyaz baziyash
derakhte gilaso tina
shabe sardo pore setare to eyvon ba anahita
bagh raftanaye tabestoon
shirino favvarehaye on shabe vasate tabestoon
yadete kafsham pore ab shode bood baske khodamo endakhtam to aba
shalvaram ta bala khise khis bood
o to on door faghat dashti behem mikhandidio mashkoook bodi ke in dafe rasti rasti khol shodam ya na
yadete gharare shomal shirin shanbe ? yadete nashod akhar? yadete majaraye pitzaye on shab o zanbooro parvaneo jighaye to? yadete majaraye aghebat be kheyriye ... o taajjobe mano to? yadete aroosiye babako khol baziyaye aborbaraneye man?yadete otooye lebaset ? yadete on sobhe barfi ke malakooti dashtim dir shode bood toro che shekli kardam ta belakhare farahman ramon dad to? yadete geryehaye on rooz zohret bad az jale ? yadete on rooz zohr ke to khone tanha boodi barat dolmeye barge moo avordam o nazashtam az cheshmi mano bebini o zet zang zadi be shima ke be dadet berese? yadete on shabe tavallode farnoosh ke vaghti didi hanooz mohamo az tah ba tigh nazadam jigh zadi? yadete on shabi ke tanha boodamo omadi opisham o az ... harf zadi o man dashtam az tars sektem ikardam? yadete? tamame 11 salo yadete?
emshab bazam az hamoon koche baghe hamishegi tarik gozashtam ... har roozo har asr... migofti belakhare residim be dehe khodemon? on moghe bood ke montazere sedaye parande ha mimondim ta az khande rode bor shimo bargaridm khone ... hatta kesh bazi hamoon ba tina ro yadete? emshab to tariki aroom aroom az onja gozashtam chizi nemididam joz to o hameye on 11 salo... amma dige dari miri ... dige ba ham az on ja nemigzarim ... dige to bekhatere chiz az on koche bodo bodo ta khonatoon jigh jigh nemikoni ke ay... . dari miri... hamechiz dare mige tak take vojodam barat tang shode ... to ke miri derakhtaye bolok ham mordan... dige bolok derkaht nadare ... dige tooti namoonde ke tabestona khodemono bahash masmoom konim... dide to nisiti ke chizi be khad mano yade bachegiyam bendaze ...
amma midonam age amare setarehaye asemoono begiri miyangineshono to ghalbet peyda mikooni ...
hala to begoo ye jomle ba kachal o mahi o gonah ...
yade hameye shirinihaye torshe shirin be kheyr shirin
ye khiyaboone tolani
o nashnas
shab
shayad chand ghatre baron
booye kohnegiye mahalle
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dari tondo tond ghada barmdari ta beresi be ye jai ke befahmi okjasto betooni ye chizi barakhone raftan gir biyari
az ro shomalo jonob faghat mitoni hads bezani alan koja mitoni bashi
o
hamin
hihichi nemidoni ke konaji
amma ye hesse moziye konjkaviye hayenaangiz zire postet rah mire o to badjensane be khodet mikhandi o raheto edame midi ta bebini belakhare onja kojast
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hamchenan ke hey dari zire pato mipaii ke to chalo chole nayofti
yehooo
to piyaderooo
kolli setare mibini
kolliiiiiiiiii setare derakhshano cheshmak zan
cheghadr jaleb
ta dishabesh donbalesetare ha to asemoon migashtam
amma alan drost zire paman
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!
cheghadr ham ziyadan
khob ke negashon mikonam
mibiniam ona ta vaghti baham boodan setare naboodan
amma hala ke har kodomeshon az ham joda shodan o shodan yeki be tanhai
shoro kardan be bargh zadan
shoro kardan be setare shodan
shoror kardan be inke moghavem o khatarnak bashan
na mesle
vaghti ke baham boodan
shekanande
o
shishe
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yadam bashe az in be ba'd donbale setare ro zamin bishtar basham ta to asemooon
chon ham arzoon taran o moshtari nadaran
ham lazem nist gardanamo kolli bala begiram ta balke yeishon be man cheshmak bezane
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az kheily bad be kheily khob
kash hamamon mesle emroooz ye bar in jomlaro az yeki kadoo gerefte bashim ta avvalesh todelemon bad ham dad bezanim ke na!
az kheily khob be kheily bad
mahze yaadegari
shayad kotahtarin amma bolandtarin jomlei boode ke tahal mitonestam az kasi faghat mahze yadegari gerefte basham
amma
shayad
hanooz
ham
beshe
omidvar
bood
amma
na
mahze
yadegari
mahze
khode
khode
khode
zendegani
bazam az hamaton
hamatoon ke in 2 shab ba telephono sms o hozooore garmetoon tavallodamo garmtar kardin mamnoonam
behtari nchizi ke tahal kadoo gereftam
faghat
hozoore doost boode
chon hamishe hatta esme doost
bozorgtarin omide
zendegi yani rang
zendegi yani noor
zendegi yani raghs
zendegi yani sabokiye ye hobab bar labe ab
zendegi yani jaryane abadiyat beyne doosti
zendegi yani barghe negahe khis
zendegi yani pooyeshe faseleha ba goftan ye salam
zendegi yani amniyate rah ba hozore yad
zendegi yani abre nafasaye mehgerefte to zemeston
zendegi yani danestane nadaniha
zendegi yani yani pejvake khandeye pake
zendegi yani tarake boghze khafeye ro shonehaye hamdige
zendegi yani gazeshe bade sarde sare sob
zendegi yani hojome kalamha dar miyane negahe
zendegi yani esteghamte ye rooh baraye zende kardan ye nafar
zendegi yani mehre madari baraye khalgh
zendegi yani torshiye mazeye khon
zendegi yani hameye chizaye ye zendegi
zendegi yani che khob che bad hamashon baham mishan ye zendegi
zendegi yani ke ma nafas bekeshim ta ke shayad ke na ta ke hatman baghiye ham zende beshan
zendegi yani marg
zendegi yani eynan zendegi
zendegi yani tavallode ye tefl tooye oje bohbohe zire ajire khatar
zendegi yani zohre jomeye zemestoone 65
zendegi yani saate 11 shabe 12 dey 84
chizai ro mikham begam ke barashon jomle nadaram o kalaman va hamin kalame boodaneshone ke donyaye mano shekl dade o be tamame baghiye mani bakhshide
pas
kalamehamo azam ghabool kon
va beheshon to donyaye khodet mani bede
salam
hozoor
boodan
zendegi
shoro'
payand
aghaz
tavallod
marg
rang
doost
tarane
baroon
nava
labkhand
bidari
mantegh
talash
rooya
harekat
sorat
omid
arezoo
tajrobe
ghadrdani
ayande
negah
tavallod
bahman
nemidona kolli dige boodan ke yadam raft
mohem ine ke ona hastan
che man bebinameshon che na
va mohem ine ke belakhare ye rooz hamashono baham mibniam
va on moghast ke mifahmam zednegi yani chi
va on moghast ke mimiram be hamon ghashangiye zendegi
tavallodam mobarak