تمام راه برگشت بارون بود که باد می کوبوندش به شیشه . شب همه از خستگی بیهوش بودیم و فکر نکنم کاشان هیچ سالی به خودش انقدر بارون ذیذه بود که اون چند روز دید . تا درو ظهر باز کردم  یه جور عجیبی همه جا ساکت بود . خاله با یه ساک مشکی وسط هال واستاده بود . من گیج فکر کردم باید خوشحال باشم . مامان  کشیدم کنار و آروم گفت ما باید بریم ... . من باز احمق خوشحال گفتم ... . گفت : نریمان فوت شده ... . جا نخوردم , شاید اون موقع هم با این که هیچی نمی ذونستم اما منتظرش بودم ... . فقط به مامان  قول دادم که باشم  ... از همیشه ... . گلنار خواب بود , مامان رفت , گلنار با جیغ از خواب پرید . پرده هارو کشیدم محکم کنار , همه جا عادی بود .اون لحظه و اون موقع و تمام لحظه ها و روز ها و ماه های بعدش همیشه به این فکر کردم که را برای من همه چیز عادی بود . نریمان مرده بود  ... اما ... برای من نریمان مگه قبلا زنده هم بود ؟ ... برای بار 2 ام  همه شکستن و سیاه پوشیدن ... اشکان ... و ... حالا ... نریمان ... . شاید وقتی پرده هارو  می کشیدم میخواستم داد زده باشم که ... که ... ای مردم ... نریمان مرده که ما زنده باشیم ... می حواستم بگم اون میره که به ما بگه بمونیم ... اما ... هیچ کس نشنید ... مرگ نریمان بی رنگ تر از سیاهی لباس سیاه خاله بود , ... زمان می گذره و ... تو هم تو گذر لحظه ها ورق می خوری ... الان 4 سال گدشته ... اما ... اونجا تاریخ داره تکرار میشه... من هنوزم منتظرم ... منتظر نفر بعد ... منتظر تا اونم با حماقتاش ... . اره ... من نمی خوام اما می بینم تمام اونایی رو که اونا داشتن و از داشته هاشون به نداری کشیده شدن ... باور کن سخته ... باور کن منتظر بودن سخته ... همیشه مرز بین جسارت و حماقت باریکه ... اما ... هیچ وقت معلوم نیس کدوم حماقت کدوم جسارت ... امروز هم اومد ... نریمان به یادت بودم ... اما ... آدمایی که دارن زندگی رو از یاد می برن چی کار کنم ؟ ... امسال هم مامان شب تو دفتر خاطراتش می نویسه نریمان پرپرم در کنار اشکان آرام بخواب ... اما ... مامان من خوابم ... من ... تو ... همه ما ... هرچند فردا هم خورشید طلوع میکنه ...

vaghti moadelato be jaye 4 ta soal yehoo 14 ta soal midan to 110 min , vaghti ke  fekr mikoni 3 ta soale avvalo bayad hal koni faghat o 4 ta ye ppaeenesh hala hamjoorie chon baromesh kheily paene , vaghti khodeto sare ye antegrale 1 metri  1saato 15 allaf mikoni , vaghti ke mikhay bargato bedi mibini poshte safat  7 ta soaaaallll e dige hast ke to aslan nadidi , vaghti ke on mofghast ke miragheb mige behet 10 min bishtar vaght nadari , vaghti ke mibini az 3 taye avval hich kodomo be javab naresidi , vaghti ke mibini on 4 taye paeno 2 tasho nesfe javab dadi o tamame 7 taye baghiye eyne chi khali ..... on vaght nabayad be khdoet begi ke miyofti ? badesh enghadr halet bad beshe ke hatta part kardane khodet az har 13 tabagheye nassaji ham dardi ro dava nemikone ... on moghast ke hatta roye asfalt zire aftab neshastan ham daghet nemitone bokone... on moghast ke mikhay biyay inja tamame fooshe alamo adamo bedi amma yehoo mibni ke systemeto logoff kardan ... on moghast ke faghat bayad biya n jamet konan o rat bendazan .... on moghast ke mikhay dar eyne inke mabhoote in hame khoshie adamaye dooreti ke az fogohlade dadane emtehaneshon harf mizanan to fekr koni ke akhe mage mishe be in fezahat injoori beshe .... va hala mn inja neshastam o hanozo mabhoote gandiam ke zadam , 4 ta pshte sare ham emtehan daram amma yeki baddtar az digari ... msihe zendegi behem ye pause kochik bede? nafahmidam chetoori momkene vaghti mippari to challeye ab be jaye baghal dastiyat 3 ta dige  4 metr jeloo tar khish besah nonam az soorat ta paeen , va to kheily sade bazam bavaret nashe ke mikhan khafat konan va bavareshon nashe ke mikhay az divar beri bala o az balatarin shakheye derakht tooot bekanni ba tamame cheshm ghorrehaye adamae dooret ... amma nemidonam chera ........ bikhial ............ man gand zadam baz ....... amma man ke nemikhastam... are ... farda... felan khastam ... amma farda behesh fekr mikonam ...

Hichvaght nafahmidam ke chera vaghti halam bade ta nakhabam ya ye chize torsho shor nakhoram dorost nemisham...emsal sare saltahvil forsat nashod  shayadam shod amma yadam raft ke bara khodam hadeaghal doa konam...  aftabe zohro doost nadaram to otagham chon faghatm ishe bahash khabid , gipsy king gozashtamo ta tah behesh basso tremble dadam ,kheily kerekht o sikh khodamo vel dadam ro takht bade inke sheddate takaneye badanam ba navasan kardan ro doshak gerefte shod  shoro kardam poshto ro hamechizo didan , hamontori damar shoro kardam bacheshme baz baghiyeye otaghe bala saramo tasavvor konam ... amma yehoo ghel khordam be kheily vaght pish... nemidonam shayad chon az avval nabeghe boood manam say mikardam to bachegihaye bi neshane az harhooshi moghalldesh basham , fekr konam avvalin bar on bood kebehm goft bozorgtarin arezoosh ine ke hava faza bekhoone... shayad on moghe nafahmidam ta inke bazam chand sal bad sar az fizik daravord o man ba ye labkhande piroozmandane e mozi nakhodagah on hesse khakestar shodeye bachegiyam behem goft hala ke on natonest pas to havafaza mikhoooni ... harchand ke bazam on moghe halim naboood ke chera ... bazam chand sal badesh yehoo sar az ye khiyalbafiye kodakane dar eyne inke dige behemon kodak nemigoftan to ye zohre dagh vasate hayate madrese bade inke naharkhorde bodimo ro asfalt deraz keshide bodim onja yehoo bazam karam keshid be hamon ja o ye team jam kardim azbacheha ek harki chi kare she, on moghe ham hamash shokhi bood amma.... amma alan dige na! Cheghadr zood ye shokhi o ye vasvaseye hesadatgone shod jedditarin bakhshe zendegim... gozashtamesh ro repeat ....yehoo safeye zehnam avaz shod ... hamechiz abi bood ba yemosht haloojene zardo abi o sefid ke chon avvalin bareshon bood roshan mishodan roshan shodan... bazam hamin gispsykinge amma in bar to amfiteatere dept. .... in dafe dobare garmame ... chon to classe sabamo on dare az che midonam mabahese khabavare fizik 1 harfmizane dareyne inke to zire aftab neshastio khomare kafoore selfi... amma nemidonam chera ta mige khate nabashid yehoo tabdil msihim be gorohe ashraro class mire ro hava ! shayad chon kafoor niaz be katalizore fizik dare ke faalesh kone ... yade alice miyoftam ... vaghti oftad to on sorakh hesse moaallaghe soghoto kamelan bahash dark mikardam shayad tanha ghesmati az dastanesh bood ke khosham miyomad o hamishe az inke bayad har eydo har tabestoon be jaye didane khanoome marpel beshinam ino negah konam assi mishodam amma 2 gozine bishtar zohra nadashtam ya karagah X ya alice o chon karagahe X tamame hesse konjkave policie shariramo be bazi migereft o tahghir mikard tarjih midadam sangin beshinam ba cheshaye baste avvalo akhare alico negah konam... e.... zebr bood ... baba... man nemidonam chera hich vaght nemikhad maniye bastaro befahme ... dare baste yani vorod mamnoo' .cheshme baste yani mozahemat mamnoo' .... yani mikhay donyaye hodeto dashte bashi o bekhay begi tavaghofe bija mane kasb ast ... amma ... yadam bashe az in be bad dare otaghamo nabandam ta kesivared nashe o kesi nakhad ba boosidanam behem bege ke hey U vaghte khab nist o mohtaramane bege baz ke pashoo.... fekr konam on rast migoft ... behtare donayahamono barak hodemon negah darim chon ghati kardaneshon hamishe riskesh bishtar az to nadani o nadonestaneshon e .... are ... age panjereye cheshato bebandi kesi nemitone behe t bege ke chera to maghzet hichi nist chon dare ba khodesh mibafe ke man ye chizi daram ke barak hodam negahesh dashtam .... bazam nafahmidam ke chera hamash .... yadam be on shabe tavallode dokhtar e dokhtar ammeye mamane ye ki azdoostam oftad ke manam bar revalehamsihe hzore faal dashtam , yeki z doostash migoft ba jaryane ab bash ta behet began mahi .... on migoft hatta onja ham nabayad bar khalafe jaryan shena kard , maskharast man hamishe ro jahate jaryan moshkel dashtam delam nemikhast jaryanam ba jaryane pareshaye ye ghorbagheye rooye ab ham yeki beshe ....hala baz farghe mahiye roodkhoney o barvareshi chie? .... mohem ine ke age ton beshi dige hcikas nemifahme male koja boodi! Taze onjoori shoretam mikonan ke ... . dige yadam naymad ke akharin jayi ke az to zehnam part shodam behesh koja bood amma diroooz bara tanavoo hakstam ba yeki pasoor bazi konam behem goft arzeshe shenidano yad gereftan nadare , shakh shodam , goft age tonesti sadetarin masalamo hal koni mishnavam harfato , amma vaghti goft didam nafahmidam chi gofte o yadam oftad ke hamishe az ehtemalat motenaffer bodam o kheily haghirane goftam ke nemidonam javabeto , ba'd bachehe faghat behem negah kard manam hamonjooi negam kard ke ab sham .... amma be ta omadam azash beprosam ke khob to vaghti hanooz nemitoni 4 ta jomele addi harf bezani vaghti alan 4 saate o andie inja neshasti hooshe noboghvaret be che dard khorde ... bad be in natije residam keadamaye bihoosh hadeaghal khiyaleshon (moon) rahate , chon az bihooshi motevajjehe hameghatamon nistim amma on yekia daeman zajrkoshe kochikihaye bashargonashon mitonan beshan ... amma che fayede ... alan be in natje residam ke mikham hameye darsayein termo bioftam .... dige cheberese be  conseptual design khondane bacheha to eyd! ...

     شوق جوانه رفت ز یاد درخت پیر

    ای باد نوبهار ز عهد کهن بگو                      

                                               سایه

Salam … lol … hora man belakhare farsi typ kardam didam arezooo be del mimonam age in sale kohnei ye type farsi be dele dorost nakonam … amma hamchenan ye tabrike eyd ke male male khodam bashe o behem bechasbe az to zehnam natonestam bekesham birooon in shere sayaro azam ghabool konin ke ye chizi gofte basham ta bebinam ke chi … .

Che ghadr hamechiz zood avaz mishe kheily zoodtar az inike bekhaym befahmim darim avaz mishim … saniyeha tondo tond migzaran amma yehoo mibinim ke ona kheily kondtar az ma harekat mikonan… ta ghabl shayd hamin ye saniye pish shayadam ye sal pish shayadam ye vaghti ke nemidonam key booode fekr mikardam ke inke migan adama to lahze sakhte mishan to lahze bozorg mishan to lahze ye adame jadid mishan faghat male filmo ghessast chon ke bayad to n safe ketab neveshte beshe ya to n min filme sakhte beshe … amma alan na mibinam ke na vvaghean in harfa male hamin zendegiye sadeye mamollie khodam bood… kheily chiza avaz shodan to man kheily chiza omadano raftan ta man kheily chizaye digaro peyda konam … bebinam ke na! intoriam nist ke man mididam … ensan faghat dar lahze tarif mishe hamash to ye lahze … bad ke on lahze gozasht to on adame ghab;li nisti age ham bashi yani ke aslan zende nisti pas yani bazam ensas nisti o ye mordei … gthablana fekr mikardam ke age kheily chizaro to daroonam beheshon motaghedam  amma bironam to adamaye doram peyda nemikonam bayad be adama komak konam ta onaro to khodeshon peyda konan hatta age khodeshon ham nakhan bayad bayad bayad… in kalameye bayad boodke hamishe baes mishod tamame energy o vaght o zendegim behesh hadar bere bayad tamame vojodamo sarfe in mikardam ke on adam ye lahze yadesh biofte mitone ADAM beshe amma in vasat man bara lahzehaye badim dige naboodam amma alan na dige elzami nemibinam ke bekham be hamekas hameye chizaye khobe ensaniyato esbat konam … mibinam ke mohemtari nchiz dige khodamam dige manam ke bayad zendegi konam o age man boodam digaran dar ertebat ba man mitonan age khoeshon bekhan sakhte beshan … tajrobeye jalebi boood az ye maghtae margavar be ye hesse parvaze fogohlade beresi … bad boodna ot ajroobe koni… o hazaman ke bad mishi bebbini gozare hamechizo az safehaye zendegit amma nazari naghshi ezafe bezanan be safahati ke to bayad nnevisandeye motlagheshon bashi na kase digei …are… MAN NA KASE DIGAR… shayad ta ghabl az didane ye cartoone rangi kheily hal mikardam amma alan bishtar az didane khodam ke shibihe on cartoone rangi hastam kheily bishtar lezzat mibaram chon mibnima to har saniyeye I n zendegi kkolli shakhsiyate jadid hastan ke khalgh shodano kolli ta dige hastan ek chon tavanai ifae dorost ye naghshe amooozande nadaran hazf mishan shayadam hamin hazf hsodane in vasat kollita amoozande bashe … nemidonam … midonam ke be har hal hamishe hamechiz behtarine o be behtarin masire khodesh dare edame mide … har tajrobei hamcheghadr ham talkh sakht bazam behtarine baraye ma ta behtarin mani basham dar lahzeye badiye on zendegi…

Khob chert ziyad goftam… amma goftam ta onai ro ke mi kham begam harchand kalameham bazam gom shodan amma gofte basham … farda hamechiz ye chizedigast …behtarin hastin o behtari nkhahin bood… behtarin lahzehatoon male khodetono o bahash sarshar shin az hessse sadeye torshe shadi be hamon torshiye alochehaye doregardaye khiyaboon … be hamon torshi be hamon ghermezi … boodanetono mobarak J

bedoone

vojoode

mahdoodiyat tavallodo margi

vojood

 nakhahad dasht

mimirad

 nemitavanad bemirad

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hamin

ye khiyaboone tolani

o nashnas

shab

shayad chand ghatre baron

booye kohnegiye mahalle

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dari tondo tond ghada barmdari ta beresi be ye jai ke befahmi okjasto betooni ye chizi barakhone raftan gir biyari

az ro shomalo jonob faghat mitoni hads bezani alan koja mitoni bashi

o

hamin

hihichi nemidoni ke konaji

amma ye hesse moziye konjkaviye hayenaangiz zire postet rah mire o to badjensane be khodet mikhandi o raheto edame midi ta bebini belakhare onja kojast

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hamchenan ke hey dari zire pato mipaii ke to chalo chole nayofti

yehooo

to piyaderooo

kolli setare mibini

kolliiiiiiiiii setare derakhshano cheshmak zan

cheghadr jaleb

ta dishabesh donbalesetare ha to asemoon migashtam

amma alan drost zire paman

!

!

!

cheghadr ham ziyadan

khob ke negashon mikonam

mibiniam ona ta vaghti baham boodan setare naboodan

amma hala ke har kodomeshon az ham joda shodan o shodan yeki be tanhai

shoro kardan be bargh zadan

shoro kardan be setare shodan

shoror kardan be inke moghavem o khatarnak bashan

na mesle

vaghti ke baham boodan

shekanande

o

 shishe

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yadam bashe az in be ba'd donbale setare ro zamin bishtar basham ta to asemooon

chon ham arzoon taran o moshtari nadaran

ham lazem nist gardanamo kolli bala begiram ta balke yeishon be man cheshmak bezane

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